New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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