i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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