nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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