This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
