he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
