Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
