It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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