dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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