my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
