5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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