i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
