I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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