Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
