Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
