It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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