I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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