Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
