just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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