The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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