I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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