We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
