i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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