your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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