nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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