Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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