i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Only a mothe r could love this liver
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
