He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
