some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize