Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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