ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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