Buhtt sex?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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