I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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