Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
