you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
