Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
