You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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