soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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