just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
