ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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