my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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