We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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