Dual....:-)
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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