@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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