My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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