I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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