I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
