We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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