did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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