Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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