oh good, I think they're gone
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?