Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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