I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize