Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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