fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
