Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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