Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
