the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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