if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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