either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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