It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
