Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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