kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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