If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
