Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
