Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
