bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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