I just cut my nipple shaving
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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