just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize